A Special Woman

Grandma was born October 14, 1909 in the south, Mississippi to be exact. Grandma had 8 kids along with some adopted kids, 1 Aunt I never got a chance to meet. She passed away before my time. Grandma once told me that she was taking care of her brothers and sisters at 9 years old. That would explain some things about the stories of having all those family members living in one house.  

    

At some point, Grandma must’ve packed everybody up and moved north to Champaign, IL.  

There are always some family members telling stories about the past and I use to wish I was there to be about of that history. There’s a lot I don’t remember about those stories but I remember some of my history with Grandma.

My time finally rolled around. My earliest memories of Grandma are when she used to babysit Shandra and I. She has this spot in the kitchen where she’d sit and watch TV. She had her crutches, purse and spit can on deck. In her house, she had plants by the front window, shelves between the livingroom and kitchen. There were bottles that had blue and red liquid in them sitting on the shelf and her trusty sewing machine.

Seems like every time we went on a road trip, she rode with us, chewing on her gun. Grandma and Mom would always talk about the past at some point during those road trips. Any and every where I’ve seen this woman, she was chilling. Even when you go to her house, should be posted up in her same spot in the kitchen, chilling. She was my neighbor for 22 years.

At same point, she became the candy lady, Ms Avant is what the kids called her. Kids would always tell me they liked buying from Ms Avant because she had penny candy. They also figured I was getting free candy all the time but that’s not true at all. She may have given me a little extra every few blue moons but that’s about it. One time I stayed the night at Grandma’s, I stole some chewing gun. Eventually I snitched on everybody that was there and paid her back. Never stole from her again and it was rare that I asked for free candy.

Grandma was into the soaps so during the week days, every day, we had to watch soaps. I hated it but what was worse was when I had to spend the night at her house. I can still hear the clock and the noise from the refrigerator. Whenever I got mad at Mom, I’d run next door to tell Grandma. Wanted Grandma to whoop Mom. It’s funny now but I was serious back then. She was always into westerns and action movies. She’d say “wellsir” or something like that when she got excited about something she seen.

I hated having to help Grandma in the garden. I’d try my best to duck on or go where she couldn’t see me. I feel bad now because I should’ve been helping her more in that garden. Plus I couldn’t learned more about gardening. It was the bugs that kept me from wanting to help. I don’t do bugs *smacks arm and leg*

When Grandma got dressed up, she was too fly. She looked like she was going to the Players Ball or something. I’d ask her sometimes where she was going and she’d tell me “tomcatting”. I wanted to go but they weren’t having that.

 

I spent many hours over at Grandma’s watching TV in her bedroom sitting the reclining. It was me and Peter the cat and years later, Cecil the cat. Those were my little buddies. Grandma called me Buckwheat when I was High School. Then it was Buck a Monk but she mostly called me Brown Skin. Anytime I’d call her looking for Mom it would go like this “May I speak to Mom” she said hand the phone to Mom and say “here Mom” or “PEAK to Mom”.

Grandma would tell me to listen to my Mom. I usually listen to Mom, I just don’t do what Mom says. Hahaa     

There are all kinds of little memories that I shared with her. A part of me feels bad that I didn’t spent more time with her and talk to her more as an adult. It’s ok, one thing I do know is Grandma was a warm person, strong, a survivor. She had experienced a lot in her long life. I don’t know what it’s like to lose brothers, sisters, kids but she has lost all but 1 sister and 4 kids and she still carried on. She never treated me any different today then she did when I was a kid. We never really expressed our feelings by saying I love you but I always know she did. She showed me and it was understood.

Grandma, Lilma, Ms Avant, Gramps, Grandma Mary, this little woman is a real soldier in my eyes. I couldn’t forget her even if I wanted to. She’s touched many people and I got to see some of those people express that at her 98^th birthday. I walked away from the party like, WOW. Grandma is someone special, not just a Grandma. This special woman is MY Grandma. I’m honored to have been cut from a part of her cloth.

Where ever she may be, I know she’s good. She wouldn’t want any of us to worry. 

R.I.P. Grandma